Fifty Million Dollars!
Fifty Million Dollars?
Today, Mr. Lukaszuk announced that there will be fifty-million dollars restored to the funding of Alberta’s post-secondary (#abpse) institutions! Huzzah! This is welcome (if not expected) news, indeed. But I am writing this post because (and I am not naming names) some people think that we in #abpse should be thankful for the return of this funding. Indeed, we are, if I were to be so bold as to speak for all #abpse stake-holders. We got fifty-million back! Why should we complain?
Well, here is an analogy that I tried to make work on Twitter but could not make happen in 140 characters. Let’s pretend (since Mr. Lukaszuk is quite fond of pretending to fulfill promises) I’m a cook in a restaurant; you are a server (already the analogy breaks down, but bear with me). We are preparing to serve (once again, a poor analogy) a table of four. I have already handed you a BLT, and you expect me to complete the order, to meet my promise, at the very least. The shift bell rings and a new cook begins his work. “That’s not a BLT!” he shouts. “Actually, it is,” you say. “It’s not and you have no idea what you’re doing! Do I have to come out and serve this food myself?” shouts the new cook. “Give me back that sandwich!” The cook takes back the sandwich, makes a face at you, but proclaims that he is doing this for the now ravenous customers. “I’m not talking to you anymore,” says the new cook. “I have to do this all myself.”
When the “customers” become angry and start shouting at the cook that they are hungry and require more servers and not a bigger restaurant, the Monster of Advanced Cookery replies, “I know what is best; give me eight months!”
The cook then says, “You had a sandwich, but I promised more. I took back the sandwich another cook gave you before you could bring it to our diners. But LOOK, I’ll give you this big lump of bread. It’s a big wad of uncooked dough, and I will determine it’s ultimate outcome, but you got something, right? That outta do it for you. Kneel before my greatness and the bounty I have provided for you.” (Okay, that’s a bit hyperbolic.)
Meanwhile, outside the restaurant, desperately peering into this wreck of a restaurant, are thousands of former customers and workers of another diner this aggressive, arrogant cook administered before (#abed). “Look!” they shout, “They’ve been served a dod of uncooked dough! Let’s get them and their raw bread! Screw the lettuce and tomato. What is bacon, anyway?”
So, when I have 140 characters to try to make that analogy work, I expect that you can imagine why I might fail. I can only hope that the Progressive Conservative Association of Alberta might begin to understand that having fewer characters (people, programs, jobs, seats for students) might make “serving” an adequate message (education) difficult or impossible. Yes, a wad of raw dough is great if you’ve been given nothing; yes, 140 characters is great if you don’t hope to say something of substance.
When I hear someone tell me that I should be glad of a lumrp of dough when I once held in my hand an adequate (and I stress the word adequate) BLT, I am going to complain. I still have to seve that raw dough to “customers.”
While this is happening, incidentally, I have willfully voted myself a decrease in pay (1%), just so I don’t lose this wonderful job I have. Also: I have been told that in the near future I will be taking over another section of the restaurant’s tables, serving more raw dough to even more of my “customers.” Perhaps the people “bitching” about this windfall of $50M really should shut up. We have it great. This is the land of plenty, after all. Still, I would like some bacon, lettuce, and tomato on my BLT. The BLT begins with a wad of raw dough; it doesn't end there.
From nuts to soup to raw dough, Mr. Braid.
Yes, Fifty Million is great, more than I could ever imagine seeing. The government only has ninety-seven million to make up. Plus the 2% increase that was initially promised.
Later this month, Tommy Lu's party has a leadership race. Let's see how the dough rises.
